How to Prepare for Confession: a Detailed Examination of Conscience

The Sacrament of Reconciliation, aka Confession

Praise God for His endless mercy that seeks our broken souls to be healed by Him and embraced by His transformative love. That is what we can expect from going to Confession: an opportunity to be reunited with our beloved after offending Him and choosing against Him. 

Below you'll find a detailed Examination of Conscience to help you prepare well for Confession. You can click here to download the bilingual PDF version now, or keep scrolling. 

Let's briefly discuss the importance of understanding what Confession is and why it's considered a sacrament. A more detailed explanation will be posted soon, but there are plenty of resources out there in the meantime. Let me know if you'd like some recommendations!

What is the sacrament of Confession?

A sacrament is a visible sign of God's invisible grace, given by Christ to the church, through which God truly acts in the soul. (CCC 1131) For the sacrament of Reconciliation, or Confession, it can be explained like this:

Visible signs: confessing the signs out loud, the priest, the words of absolution from the priest, and the penance. 

God's invisible grace: forgiving your sins, healing your soul, restoring your relationship with Him, giving you strength to resist future sin

Given to the Church: In John 20:23, Jesus said, "Whose sins you [priests] forgive, they are forgiven them."

God acting on the soul: Your sins are truly wiped away, grace is restored to your soul, and you are spiritually renewed.

Going to Confession is your opportunity to say sorry for the ways you've rejected God and chosen the world and its temptations. He loves you so much and wants to be back in a fulfilling relationship more than you do, seriously. 

Things to Keep in Mind:

1. Confess YOUR sins, not others', or what others did for you to act in sin

2. Mortal sins are to be confessed, and venial sins are recommended to be confessed, but not necessary. 

3. The priest is there to represent Christ physically, not to keep track of your sins and judge you later on.

4. There is nothing the priest hasn't heard before. God will give them the grace they need to remain unaffected by what you say. It's God who judges and pours out His mercy after all. The priest is a vessel.

5. Do NOT give details of the sin or justifications. Just name it, say how many times you committed it since your last Confession.

6. Start by saying, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It's been X days, months, years, since my last Confession, and these are my sins."

7. At the end, say the act of contrition after the priest prescribes your penance to make amends for your sins.

8. It's okay if you don't "feel" any different right after, trust that you have been forgiven and that the Lord is giving you the grace to be reconciled with Him again.

Are you ready to apologize to God for your wrongs?

I hope this Examination of Conscience helps you reflect on how you've treated your relationship with God. Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you through this examination and to give you the courage to be honest with yourself. After all, God already knows what you've done. But he is patiently waiting for you to take accountability for your actions so that you and He can love each other freely and totally. 

EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE

"Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my thoughts. And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:23–24)

Before You Begin

Find stillness.
Let silence expose what you've tried to outrun.
Invite the Holy Spirit to come and unearth the buried places.
This is not about shame.
This is about truth and love.
Because only the truth sets us free, and love allows us to flourish.

Start with Prayer:

Come, Holy Spirit,
Convict me honestly,
Penetrate the rooms I've locked with your mercy,
Sit beside my wounds,
And show me who I am
Before the God who never stopped loving me, teach me repentance so I may know what it means to be a true Child of God.

THE FIRST COMMANDMENT

"I am the Lord your God. You shall have no other gods before Me."

• Do I really love God above all things — or only when life's easy?

• Have I made idols of control, comfort, career, appearance, intelligence, productivity, and success?

• Have I been more obsessed with someone's approval than with God's delight in me?

• Have I doubted God's love when I didn't feel it?

• Have I tried to control my life instead of trusting His will?

• Do I treat prayer like a backup plan?

• Have I practiced New Age spirituality, consulted horoscopes, psychics, or anything occult?

• Have I been afraid to speak about my faith?

• Have I given in to despair instead of surrender?

• Do I go through the motions of religion without letting it shape me?

"My soul clings to dust; revive me according to Your word." (Psalm 119:25)

THE SECOND COMMANDMENT

"You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain."

• Have I used God's name flippantly, sarcastically, or without reverence?

• Have I said "Oh my God" as a catchphrase, not a prayer?

• Have I used blasphemy or cursed using sacred names?

• Have I spoken of holy things casually or joked about what's sacred?

• Have I falsely sworn on God's name?

• Have I kept vows, promises, or commitments made to God or others?

"Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips." (Psalm 141:3)

THE THIRD COMMANDMENT

"Remember to keep holy the Lord's Day."

• Have I missed Mass on Sunday or Holy Days without a serious reason?

• Have I treated Sunday like just another day?

• Did I show up to Mass late, distracted, or unprepared to receive?

• Did I treat the Eucharist casually, like a snack, not a Savior?

• Do I make time for real rest and communion with God on Sundays?

• Have I done unnecessary work out of restlessness or greed?

"Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)

THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT

"Honor your father and your mother."

• Have I disrespected or dishonored my parents, even in my heart?

• Have I harbored resentment, refused to forgive them for past wounds?

• Have I failed to care for them or pray for them?

• Do I gossip about family behind their back instead of loving them honestly?

• If I am a parent, have I failed to love, teach, and protect my children spiritually?

• Have I dishonored legitimate authority out of pride or rebellion?

"Love one another as I have loved you." (John 13:34)

THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT

"You shall not kill."

• Have I harbored anger, hatred, or a desire for revenge?

• Have I nurtured bitterness or refused to forgive?

• Have I torn others down with sarcasm, gossip, or silence?

• Have I spoken cruelly to someone just because I was hurting?

• Have I participated in or supported abortion or euthanasia?

• Have I harmed myself or others through recklessness or addiction?

• Have I neglected the poor, vulnerable, or suffering?

• Have I degraded someone's dignity by how I looked at them or talked about them?

"Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer." (1 John 3:15)

THE SIXTH COMMANDMENT

"You shall not commit adultery."

• Have I committed adultery, physically or emotionally?

• Have I treated someone else's body like a commodity, not a temple?

• Have I engaged in or consented to sexual activity outside of marriage?

• Have I struggled with pornography or masturbation?

• Have I used others for pleasure — even in thought?

• Have I joked about or entertained lust casually, like it's no big deal?

• Have I been faithful in thought, word, and deed to my spouse or vocation?

• Have I respected my own body and dignity, or just tolerated it?

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." (Matthew 5:8)

THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT

"You shall not steal."

• Have I taken what isn't mine — time, money, credit, attention?

• Have I cheated in school, work, or relationships?

• Have I been greedy, hoarded more than I need?

• Have I stolen joy from others by envy or manipulation?

• Have I wasted resources, time, or talents that God entrusted to me?

• Have I been dishonest on taxes or in business?

"The Lord detests dishonest scales, but accurate weights find favor with him." (Proverbs 11:1)

THE EIGHTH COMMANDMENT

"You shall not bear false witness."

• Have I lied — to protect myself, gain advantage, or avoid responsibility?

• Have I twisted the truth to make myself look better?

• Have I gossiped, slandered, or assumed the worst about someone?

• Have I spoken about others' sins instead of praying for them?

• Have I broken trust or spread rumors?

• Have I failed to defend the truth or someone's dignity when I had the chance?

"Let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No.'" (Matthew 5:37)

THE NINTH COMMANDMENT

"You shall not covet your neighbor's wife."

• Have I been envious of someone else's spouse, vocation, or emotional connection?

• Have I compared my relationship (or singleness) to others out of jealousy?

• Have I fantasized about someone who isn't mine to desire?

• Have I dressed or behaved to provoke lust or attention?

• Have I let my eyes wander in church, on the street, on a screen — without restraint?

"The lustful heart is blind to the dignity of the human person." – St. Augustine.

THE TENTH COMMANDMENT

"You shall not covet your neighbor's goods."

• Have I obsessed over what I lack instead of thanking God for what I have?

• Do I believe I'd be happy if I just had what they have — the house, the body, the relationship, the job?

• Have I felt bitter at God's generosity to others?

• Have I been stingy or jealous instead of generous and grateful?

"Godliness with contentment is great gain." (1 Timothy 6:6)

While the commandments are a great way to examine oneself and prepare for Reconciliation, it's important to know the Precepts of the Church. They invite us into a rhythm of worship, repentance, sacrifice, and generosity — helping us to live out what we believe profoundly.

The Precepts of the Catholic Church

1. Attend Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation.
   Have I made Sunday Mass a true priority, giving God the worship He is due?

2. Confess your sins at least once a year.
   Have I gone to Confession with a sincere heart, seeking God's mercy and healing?

3. Receive Holy Communion at least during the Easter season.
   Have I prepared my soul to receive Jesus worthily in the Eucharist, especially at Easter?

4. Observe the days of fasting and abstinence established by the church.
   Have I embraced these practices as ways of growing in discipline and love for Christ?

5. Help to provide for the needs of the church.
   Have I given of my time, talents, or treasure to support the mission of the church and those in need?

FINAL QUESTIONS FOR THE HEART

• What have I hidden from God, thinking He won't notice?

• What part of my story am I ashamed to let Jesus touch?

• Where am I pretending?

• What sin do I keep running back to because it's comfortable, even if it's killing me?

• Have I truly repented — not just felt bad, but turned around?

• Do I want to be healed, or just feel better?

 

ACT OF CONTRITION

Oh my God,
I am sorry for my sins with all my heart,
In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good. I've sinned against you, whom I should love above all things.
I firmly intend,
With your grace,
To do penance, sin no more, 

and avoid whatever leads me to sin. 

I ask this through Christ our Lord, Amen.

One Last Note:

Don't be afraid, even if the list is long. Even if your soul feels so stained you don't know how to speak.

Jesus is not shocked.
He is waiting in that confessional to raise you from the dead. 

Are you ready to surrender to experience true freedom?

Feel free to share this with anyone who needs a little guidance on the sacrament of Reconciliation! 

God is so good. 

Live Like Christ, always!