How to Accept Rejection the Christian Way

As with any challenging situation, it’s important to remember our identity: you are a child of God made in his Holy image out of love. A solid foundation is essential to interpreting our corrupt world, so open up your prayerful hearts, and let’s discuss how a Christian should accept rejection.

Rejection implies that you put yourself in a vulnerable situation and that your efforts were declined. You could have applied for a school or job and did not get it. Maybe you asked for permission to do something and were told you couldn’t do it. Or perhaps you poured your heart into someone who did not reciprocate your feelings. 

Whatever the situation was, getting rejected hurts—a lot. 

It leaves us feeling disappointed, empty, worthless, ashamed, or even brokenhearted. But is this what Christ wants for us? Is that really why he asks us to go out of our comfort zone, to get hurt? 

Not at all. But we are called to study our hearts to understand what is happening internally and what should be our response to God’s will. Let’s start by asking these three questions:

1. Why did I do _____ to begin with? 
2. What was my motivation? 
3. What was I expecting ____? 

Accept Freedom not Rejection

Before accepting rejection, you must understand that just like you have free will, which means you are invited to receive love and have a duty to pass on love that you can reject, others do, too. And that’s the beauty of being human! We get to choose love. But our brokenness makes it hard to accept and give it back. Yes, we are complicated. 

Know that you are worthy of respect, so just because someone rejects your love and kindness, don’t think you must keep being drained. There might be instances where the Lord might ask you to lay down your life and forgive seventy times seven, but he does not ask you to live in rejection. He has accepted you. His love will fill you up in those moments of suffering, so don’t ever doubt his love for you. 

Before you get ready to point fingers, go back to question number one and figure out what your intentions were to begin with. If they were good and pure, you have always done God’s will to love, and you should rejoice in that. Remember that your kindness and bravery need not be accepted to be valid. No, loving someone is never a mistake or a waste of time. If anything, rejection can teach you hope. I hope that one day, someone will choose love with you, a relationship to look forward to. 

The Motivation.

The second question can reveal so much and speak truth to our reactions to rejection. While rejection is inevitable, our response to it can be transformational instead of destructive. 

If your motivation is other than to glorify the Lord, then you have your answer. You are the problem after all for expecting something for your selfishness. 

Often, we are too hard on ourselves. Why question why people don’t like us? We go down a dangerous, destructive road of self-doubt, and our need to be accepted reaches new heights. We demand answers to situations out of our control and look for validation in those willing to blame someone else. But is that what we are called to do as Christians? 

A few days ago, I wrote a post titled “Don’t Expect Kindness as a Christian.” The necessity of understanding our identity to know our role in this world is that we are called to love not for our good but for the good of others to bring glory to God. And while this might sound self-deprecating, it’s not. God will never use you to leave you empty. He will overflow your heart with all that you need so that out of that love, you can continue to pour out to the rest of the people under your care. 

The Expectation.

The third thing to consider is what you had expected to receive from exposing your vulnerability. 

 Were you hoping to be praised, accepted, or noticed? All of these things are not necessarily bad. But we need to understand that Christians are called to “put up with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves, let each of us please of neighbor for the good, for building up” (Romans 15: 1-2). You are seen and loved by God. Remember the story of Nathanael in the Gospel of John? He sees you under the fig tree in those moments of struggle. He sees the good and the bad, but more importantly, he is with you in those moments, holding you close to his heart. You don’t need to expect recognition from this broken world if you have the creator giving you everything to be alive. 

In reality, you should be expecting to please God with your willingness to go out of your comfort zone. We are called to take up our cross and follow Christ wherever he leads. That, more often than not, means it will be uncomfortable because He is teaching us to depend on him and not our selfishness. Through those moments of vulnerability, we are allowing ourselves to be a vessel for God’s glory to be experienced by the world. What a beautiful gift, don’t you think? 

So even if the world says “no,” God has already embraced you with a big yes. We don’t need any other kind of approval! 

Do you have a kind heart?

I’ll leave you with these words from the second letter to the Thessalonians, 

“May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and given us everlasting encouragement and good hope through his grace, encourage your hearts and strengthen them in every good deed and word.”