When The Blindfold Came Off

I never meant to make you hurt that way I did. I didn’t mean for you to cry yourself to sleep. I wasn’t trying to steal away your happiness and replace it with fear, but what could have been expected from someone who has never known how to be loved.

I was broken, and my sight distorted: the line between loving and using was buried in a pile of two decades worth of tears. I never meant to break your heart; trust me, that never crossed my mind.

I am as confused as you are.

I am sorry I let you down, and I am sorry I made you think you could trust me. I’ve mastered the ability to show the world I am strong without the help of anyone.

I am not sure how the foul smell from inside has not pierced my skin, but maybe there is hope after all. Perhaps I’ll find a way to forgive myself.

The night I put my hands together and got on my knees was when the blindfold came off. There is nothing more horrifying than seeing how my mess ruined those who’ve loved me most.

I’m slowly realizing I was searching for love in places far from heaven, all because the liar painted a better tomorrow. He laughs at my helplessness then nags loudly as I fight to resist.

I’ve seen him sneaking around every once in a while, and even though that glass door is restored and locked, he sneers from the outside, waiting for me to break it.

As tempting as it is sometimes, I remember I never meant to hurt you the way I did.